How Many Girls Will I Hook Up with This Year?

It's the middle of the summer. You're sitting at UTC orientation. You're told to write down one question. Any question. Big or small. You can't do it wrong, you were told. You ask:

How Many Girls Will I Hook Up With This Year?

Turns out, you can do it wrong.

Cheers,

Dr. Y

How Do You Discover What You're Destined to Do in Life?

You asked:

How do you discover what you're destined to do in life? Everyone always says to follow your passion, but what if you're passionate about everything you do?

 John Green answered this one back in 2012, and I couldn't possibly do it better. Watch. And then, know that it's going to be okay. And that yes, finding a ripe avocado at the grocery store is pretty awesome.




Cheers,

Dr. Y

Did Justin Timberlake Really Bring Sexy Back?

Burning Wednesday Question:

Did Justin Timberlake Really Bring Sexy Back?

I think the more important questions really is: Where did it go? 

Go here to watch the classic SNL sketch "Immigrant Tale." It's getting harder and harder to find online, but this skit is one of the funniest things out there.

Cheers,

Dr. Y

How Bad is Parking? Part 2

Last night, we started the answer to your question:

How Bad is Parking?

Tonight, we'll address the parts that are not your fault.

#1 - The system is flawed.

First, I would argue that the general vs reserved lot system doesn't work for us. There are lots of possible alternatives to this idea, but the one I prefer these days is dividing the lots into commuter and residential lots. It just makes a lot more sense to me. That said, the organizational structure of the lots is not the biggest flaw in the system. The biggest flaw is - OF COURSE - all about the Benjamins.

#2 - UTC Parking Services is self-funded.

What does that mean? It means that parking gets no money from the UT budgetary cycle. It means that all the times you've complained about us building the fancy new library when what you think we should be spending that money on is another parking garage have been futile because "that money" is not ever coming to Parking. But the money trail gets more complicated once you start to look at it. As a self-funded industry, parking makes all its budget from permit sales and tickets. If you make a bad choice and get a ticket, super! More money for the coffers. If you get frustrated with the General lot situation and decide to spend money you don't really have on a Reserved tag, excellent! More money for the coffers. If you don't like it and go complain and ask them to work on fixing it (as students have done for every year I've been at the University), they will act sympathetic but proceed as normal because IT WORKS FOR THEM. They are making their budget with things just as they are, so they have exactly zero motivation to fix it.

#3 - You have to have a parking permit.

Well, actually, you could choose to leave your car at home if you are a residential student and do college like countless college freshmen before you have done, but since we both know you won't do that and that you commuters truly have no choice, you are stuck. Just like with the ridiculously expensive textbook market, you are part of a system that knows you are a captive consumer. You will pay whatever you have to and deal with whatever frustrations you must because you have to. 

These things are all (relatively) true. But, I take slight issue with the last idea of you being a captive consumer. I still believe you can do something about it. Either by choosing to park in one of the outlying lots and utilizing the bus system or by creating a real-live activist movement at UTC, you can make it better.

I've said it before, and I'll say it again: I believe in you. And I'll sign your petition if you make one.

Cheers,

Dr. Y

How Bad is Parking? Part 1

The time has finally come. It is time to answer your question:

How Bad is Parking?

Welp. It's bad. By now, you undoubtedly know the routine. There are never enough spaces in the relatively close General lots; the Reserved lots sit somewhat empty, and professors like me cruise in and grab one of those spots while you sit waiting for somebody to come out and move their car. Or you park illegally and get a ticket and then complain about the ticket.There are a lot of problems with this scenario, but not all of them are UTC's fault. Let's start with where you are in error.

#1 - You think you need to park your car right next to your class. Even if you live on campus.

This is a serious issue, and we need to address it. If you live on campus, and you are driving your car to class, AND you don't have some particular medical reason for doing so, please let me speak directly to you...... STOP DOING THAT! You are clogging up the system, and you are making it a lot harder for commuters (those people who don't live on campus but still have to get to damn class) to actually park where they are supposed to park. Leave your car and walk. Yes, even if it is cold and/or rainy. Commuters, you, too, are guilty of thinking your car should be within sight of the building in which you are having class (slight exaggeration here). So, both y'all are to blame for the fiasco and both y'all sound ridiculous complaining that there's never any parking when there are plenty of empty spots in the outlying lots; y'all just don't want to use them.

#2 - You park illegally and then complain about the ticket.

Even if you think there is NO parking, if you park illegally, it is your own fault if you get a ticket. It is still a choice you are making. It may not feel like one at the time, but it is.

#3 - You don't adequately take advantage of the bus system.

Go read this post for more on the bus and its excellent offerings.

Come back tomorrow, and we'll talk about the parts that are not your fault.

Cheers,

Dr. Y

Can I Get Help If I Need It?

Oh, wise one. You knew this day would come. You knew that there would come a day, oh midway through the semester when your professor would hand you your midterm grade, and you would need to know the answer to this question:

Can I Get Help If I Need It?

Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. and Yes. We want to help. We want to see you succeed in our classes and at UTC in general. We know it is hard. So, here's what your options are.

1. Go talk to your professor. Don't just drop an email. Go to the syllabus and find where it lists his/her office hours, and then GO TO THE OFFICE and tell him or her what's going on. Ask for help. See what can be done. Usually, a lot can be done. You just have to take the initiative.
2. Go to the Center for Advisement and Student Success (CASS). The tutoring office is in the Collins Street Annex Building, Room 104. You'll need to fill out a form, but their tutoring is free and fantastic. Go here for more information and to get the form. Here's a list of the classes they cover:

   • Biology 1110, 1120, 1130, 2060, 2080, 2100, and 3250
   • Chemistry 1110, 1120, 3010, and 3020
   • Economics 1010, 1020
   • Engineering 1030 and 1040
   • Math 1000-2000 levels 
   • Nursing 2260
   • Physics 1030 and 1040

3. Go to one of these additional resources if what you need help in isn't listed above.
4. Go to the library. Those people are amazing, and they have workshops on research and citations and google and Microsoft Office and so much more. Plus, they're smart.
5. Go talk to your professor. Yes, I know I already put this one. But it is so important, and it is possible (nay, likely) that one meeting won't get the job done. Use those office hours. Go back until you understand. Go back until you feel like this person has done everything he or she can do to help (within reason, of course). Go back.

We want to help. And we know, perhaps better than you, that a midterm grade is just that. It doesn't have to be the end of the world. It does NOT mean you should just stop going to that class and take your F. It really, truly, I promise you, completely DOES NOT have to mean whatever horror story you have imagined in your head. You're on the right track by asking. Now, just make it happen!

Cheers,

Dr. Y

LOTR or Star Wars?

I guess this question isn't so much weird, but it is a bit wacky, so.....

Lord of the Rings or Star Wars?

This question is an important one. Kind of a deal-breaker. If you are dating someone who disagrees with you on this question, you might decide to stop dating that someone. And you're kind of dating UTC, aren't you? For some of you, your first year is spent trying to decide if you want to make a long-term commitment to this school. So, let me be unambiguous:




I hope we can stay together.

Cheers,

Dr. Y

What Time Does the Bus Run?

Ten ages ago, when I last posted here (sorry), I promised you a post on parking next. And well, friends, it's coming. BUT not today. Today, I'm going to answer a question somewhat related to parking:

What Time Does the Bus Run?

Let's start with the basics. The bus that runs through and around UTC is a city bus (CARTA), but it is called the Mocs Express. It is a free shuttle to all riders, but you should know that your MocsCard gets you free rides on any of the Chattanooga City buses (see full map here). The shuttle buses make constant loops (supposedly every 6 minutes) between the hours of 7:30 am and 8:30 pm. One of the ways this relates to parking is that you can park in a decent parking lot by Engel Stadium, and the shuttle will pick you up there and drop you pretty much as near as you'd like to your classes. Here's a list of the stops, courtesy of the UTC parking website (try to ignore the misspelling of Engel. I can't, but maybe you can.):

• E. 5th St. & O'Neal St. (next to Engle Stadium and General Lot 45)
• E. 3rd St. & Wiehl St. (at Erlanger Hospital)
• E. 3rd St. & Hampton St. (at Erlanger Hospital)
• Fortwood St. & Palmetto St. (across Palmetto from Reserved Lot 16)
• Vine St. & Palmetto St.
• Oak St. & Palmetto St.
• McCallie Ave. (across from the Doctor's Building)
• McCallie Ave. & Baldwin St. (Hunter Hall)
• McCallie Ave. (in front of the Quad)
• 8th & University St.
• 8th & Baldwin (Probasco South Campus)
• McCallie Ave. & Douglas St. (in front of Fletcher Hall)
• McCallie Ave. & Houston St. (in front of the Metro Complex)
• Houston St. (in front of the Metro Complex)
• Oak St. & Houston St.
• Vine St. (in front of New Village Apartments)
• Vine St. & Douglas St. (next to the Alpha Delta Pi house)
• E. 5th St. (behind Maclellan Gym)
• E. 5th St. & Baldwin St. (between the University Center and Holt Hall)
• E. 5th St. (at the east end of Holt Hall)
• Palmetto St. (in front of the Administrative Services Building)
• E. 3rd St. & Hampton St. (Erlanger Hospital)
• E. 3rd St. & Wiehl St. (Erlanger Hospital)
• E. 5th St. & O'Neal St. (next to Engle Stadium and General Lot 45

As you can see, this is a fairly easy and comfortable way to get to classes. I've used it many times (parked at Engel for about two years until recently), and it is a nice service. Need more help? Here's the handy instructional video we got in our email this week:




The problem, of course, is that you can't be sure when it will run. Every six minutes is kind of a crap shoot of information. The digital signs will tell you when the next shuttle is expected, but you can't see them until you're at the stop, and and sometimes, the six minutes part is just a bold-faced lie. I've definitely arrived at the stop a minute later than normal having missed the shuttle I usually catch only to find the next one won't be there for more than 10 minutes according to the sign. This is a problem, and it is one students should address with the Parking Services people. When I finally do get around to writing more about parking, I'll talk more about this issue. For now, though, the best option is to use CARTA's bus tracker on your phone. It will tell you the same info as the signs, but at least you can stay inside longer, which can be helpful on a day like today when it is a wee bit chilly out. Ride the bus, UTC. Ride the bus.

Cheers,

Dr. Y

WEIRD WEDNESDAYS: What Would You Do for a Klondike Bar?

You so funny.

What Would You Do For A Klondike Bar?

I don't know. It's kinda cold outside. I'm not sure I really want ice cream at this point. I mean, I don't even really like ice cream that much. I know, right? Who doesn't like ice cream? This prof. Don't get me wrong. I'll eat it in a pinch. But I ain't all that interested in proving my love for a thing that isn't all that. Perhaps the more appropriate question at UTC is:

What Would You Do For A Parking Spot?

Now, THAT'S a question worth answering. Come back tomorrow for more on this subject.

Cheers,

Dr. Y 

How Many People Are Actually Happy?

Overwhelmingly, the questions you asked revealed the fundamental uncertainties we all face when entering new situations. They addressed the mundane and the profound, equally examining the realities that lead to this one question:

How Many People Are Actually Happy?

You know I can't give you a number, right? That's not what you were really asking. You were asking about what it takes to be truly happy and wondering if very many people actually get there. We can seem happy on the outside when we know we aren't really. So, how do you actually get happy? Researcher Brene Brown seems to have figured it out a bit. Watch her 2010 Ted Talk on "The Power of Vulnerability." Then, come back here (or on Twitter) and let us know what you think. Does college make you feel vulnerable? Are you embracing that vulnerability or faking confidence? What about social media? Does telling the world how much you think you're going to fail a quiz or a class demonstrate your vulnerability or not? Let's talk about it, emkay?

Cheers,

Dr. Y

How Can I Change the World?

Last Monday, we celebrated the life and work of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. That man knew a thing or two about answering today's question:

How Can I Change the World?

You may not one day have a national holiday in your honor, but I believe firmly in your ability to change the world, and your question indicates you just might believe the same thing. But you're not sure. You don't know how to go about this world-changing thing. You want a rubric, an instruction manual, a guidebook on changing the world.

And - of course - you already know what I'm going to say:

TOUGH.

There isn't one. There is no clear and uniform path to changing the world just as there is no clear and uniform path to becoming who you are meant to be in this world. In fact, those two things are related. Your world-changing must come from who you are. You can't expect to change anything unless you first find something you think is worth changing. And you have to recognize that the only way to change the world is to see yourself as part of the world and start the changing there.

Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. spent a lot of his life talking about and fighting for and believing in Justice. His most famous "I Have a Dream" speech makes lots of references to justice - "the bank of justice," "the bright day of justice," "the palace of justice," "justice [rolling] down like waters." But to get to the point of talking about justice, you have to first recognize the injustice. You know the difference between the whining "that's not fair" you've been doing about having to walk to class in the cold (gasp!) and that pit of the stomach punch that hits you when you see or hear or encounter something that is truly unfair. Those moments don't all have to be as big as racial discrimination (although they certainly still can be); they could be - yes, really - about how unfair it feels to pay for parking and never be able to find a parking spot. To be required to spend hundreds of dollars on texts your professor never uses. To have to pay an athletic fee even though you have no intention of ever attending an athletic event at UTC. These are relatively small injustices, but they are unjust all the same, and your steps to changing the world start with you identifying what really bothers you and making a real effort to change those things. Change your world and you will change the world. It's as simple as that.

And if you want my signature for a petition fighting back against any of the injustices, you feel free to ask. In the comments below or via email, let me know what you find unjust and how you plan to fix it. I will be your biggest cheerleader.

Cheers,

Dr. Y

Where the Parties At?

Back in the summer (back when we could feel our toes), you asked the most pressing of questions:

Where the Parties At?

 Let's ignore for a minute your grammar, emkay? Instead, let's acknowledge that partying is a part of many college students' experience. It is. You have undoubtedly already been to parties. You have not been waiting for me to answer this question because - here's a secret - if the professor knows where and when and what the party is, you don't want to go. But here's another secret - we do know what parties are like. I would wager that most people you know, most of your professors probably attended a party or xxx (number blocked to protect the innocent) while in college. And most adults don't go to parties like that anymore because we've learned better. We know that some of them were fun; others probably left you feeling more like this (warning - language):




Ok. That movie - or at least that scene - is hilarious. But may I suggest that it was not the party that bonded those guys and made them stronger as friends? It was the conversations, the road trips, the laughs that they will remember (in part, because they CAN remember them) rather than the insanity of some party.

I'm not suggesting you never go to a party. I'm not naive, and I'm not your grandmother. I am, however, suggesting you not make parties the most important aspect of your time at UTC. It was more fun to be in the stands when Gee hit that shot last night than it was to be passed out on somebody's couch after watching someone else play Battle Shots (although, for the record, that's a pretty creative game).

So, have fun tonight. Be careful. And make memories. Ones you can actually remember.

Cheers,

Dr. Y

Do the Students Get Really Involved in Basketball Games?

Back in the summer, you asked

 
 



Do UTC Students Get Really Involved in Basketball Games?

You know what? Back in the summer, I wouldn't have known how to answer that question. Our two new coaches (Will Wade and Jim Foster) had just been hired, and we weren't sure how the seasons and their crowd support were going to look. But with the Women just beating Appalachian State in overtime to push their win streak to 10 and the Men going 5-0 in the Southern Conference and confidently holding first place in the SoCon, our students are figuring out just how much fun it can be to support these teams.

Our teams travel this weekend to Wofford, and we're of course hoping for another win. Road trips are fun, and you should make the drive and continue cheering on your Mocs. If you can't go, you can watch the games live on gomocs.com. Tweet about it, and use the hashtags #6thfan and #CHAT to vote for UTC in the 6th Fan competition. We could win a bunch of stuff, and it would probably be another source of support for our teams. So tweet away, or go to that 6th Fan link to vote for UTC.

Winning is good, but I'm a firm believer that you should go to the games even if your teams aren't winning. Your presence makes a difference both to the current team playing its heart out on the floor or field but also to the recruits who might be sitting in the stands nearby wondering the same thing you were wondering back in the summer. The answer to that question might mean the difference between someone signing for us and signing for a school with a stronger student section. You can't control how the team plays, but you can control the noise you make, the signs you hold up, the creative ways you serve to support your teams.

Need some ideas? Here's a video from TYT Sports on the Best College Basketball Chants of All-Time:




Do you have a video of the UTC Student Section? We're looking for a good one. Email us with the link, and we'll post it.

Cheers,

Dr. Y

WEIRD WEDNESDAYS: Is a Panda's Tail Black or White?

Among your questions from orientation were several that were kind of ... um ... weird. Funny. But also weird. We've decided to devote Wednesdays to answering those weird ones, like:

Is a Panda's Tail Black or White?

Pandas are cute. Everyone likes them. I mean, seriously, LOOK at all the pandacams you can watch. I don't know why you would want to sit and watch a Giant Panda at the National Zoo absolutely chow down (as I just have done), but you can! And I suppose if you watched long enough, you'd find out what color his or her tail is. Surely they move around at some point, right? (*checks panda cam again. Nope. Still eating.)

Since Pandacam isn't helping, my panda friend and I must head to the interwebs.

So, are they black or white? Yahoo! Answers dealt with this question a while back and got these answers:

Best Answer Asker's Choice

• ? answered 4 years ago

They have a very small tail that is white.

Source:

I had the same question a while back and looked up somewhere...but i can't remember now, LOL

Asker's rating & comment

YOU'RE RIGHT! HAHA ;]

Other Answers (8)

Oldest

• 

  Talor W answered 4 years ago

  Black-- if it were white you'd b able to see "stuff" when it sticks to it

• 

  iflyhigh♥ answered 4 years ago

  White
  ♥

• 

  Tee answered 4 years ago

  A white nub.

• 

  Hal Atosis answered 4 years ago

  I believe it is white.

• 

  sheilalala answered 4 years ago

  i thinks it black go on google and search up the picture

• 

  Love Life answered 4 years ago

  i think its white

• 

  audrey answered 4 years ago

  Doesn't it vary?

• 

  Cupidity answered 4 years ago

  I don't look at panda butt, sorry.

  -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
  

  There you have it. It is white.  And if you don't believe the LOLr above, watch this video about baby panda Bao Bao.
  
  Cheers,
  
  Dr. Y

What is Up With the Attendance Thing, UTC?

Answers to Commonly Asked Questions regarding the attendance thing:

 

1.       Are online or distance students required to track attendance?

We will track attendance for these students through their activity in Blackboard. No additional action is required by the student.

2.       How often should students submit an attendance record?

Students should text or use the Poll Everywhere website to catalog attendance only ONCE for each course during the week. We will NOT collect any attendance information after January 18^th for spring term.

3.       Does this federal mandate have any impact on the instructor’s classroom attendance policy?

No. All students have been notified that this procedure is required to track enrollment ONLY.

4.       What happens to students registered in non-traditional courses like internships, co-op, etc?

We will work individually with university departments to track enrollment for students who are participating in these special course categories.

5.       Why must all students participate?

Almost 75% of all UTC students receive some form of financial assistance. Since we will continue to award students as the semester progresses, it is prudent to collect this information about any and all potential awardees at one time.

6.       Are graduate students included in the attendance tracking requirement?

Yes, we are collecting attendance information for both levels, both for undergraduate and graduate students.

7.       Some students prematurely completed the tracking requirement last week. Should they track their attendance during the week of January 13-18?

Yes.  

8.       Does this attendance query affect the FAST program for freshman attendance?

No, these are separate programs; one identifies that students attend UTC while the other (FAST) tracks freshman attendance for retention purposes.

Where's the Nearest Taco Bell?

It is a truth universally acknowledged that no young person can go long without craving some Taco Bell. Not surprising, therefore, that one of you had the foresight to ask:

Where's the nearest Taco Bell?

 By now, you may have already asked Siri and found this answer, but just in case, I'll be glad to let you know that the nearest Taco Bell is just down Broad Street towards the St. Elmo area. Here are some directions for you hungry souls:

 There are also Taco Bells on Dayton Blvd in Red Bank, Rossville Blvd, East Ridge, and the Hamilton Place/E. Brainerd area. But this one is the nearest.

Stay Hungry, my friends,

Dr. Y

Where is Kazakhstan?

If you're just arriving here, let me explain. We're answering your questions. Sometimes it's ones you've sent us recently. Mostly it's from UTC17 Orientation, some of which were downright hysterical. Here's one of those oldies but goodies:

Where is Kazakhstan?



Friend, why the he%# were you thinking about Kazakhstan during orientation? That's almost as crazy as the girl who asked if she joined a sorority this fall would she be able to transfer her membership to another college if she switched in the spring. Now, I know some folks have transferred (see more below), but to anticipate that move while sitting at orientation does not bode well. Anyhow, back to Kazakhstan. You could just wikipedia that nonsense and be done with it. Or, you might be more interested in the teenage hookah smoking epidemic there. Maybe you're wondering if their weather is similar to how ours has been behaving lately:

Or maybe you really just wanted to know where it is. Ok. Here's a map.

Go to Russia. Take a loooooong walk. You'll get there.

Cheers,
Dr. Y

PS: If you know someone who transferred out or dropped out after fall semester, we want to talk to him/her. Email utcdoctorwhy@gmail.com with the info. Or, if you need advice, email or tweet us your question. We'll answer it.

We're Baaaaack......

You asked:

Q: Is it cold in the classrooms?

A:  Heck, yeah. It's cold everywhere. I mean, seriously, it's going to be 4 degrees tomorrow night. FOUR!  Welcome back to Chattanooga, crazies. Welcome back.

Though it seems wrong, UTC is more prone to winter weather during the Spring semester than the Fall, so though this week doesn't look likely for snow, you should be alert to changes as they might affect your day. First, make sure you keep on top of your Blackboard sites and UTC emails. Sometimes, not often, professors will have to cancel class even when the university is open. You would learn of those cancellations from your Blackboard announcement or from an email or both. You want to get those messages. Second, make sure you are signed up for UTC Alert system. It will text and email you about closings, delays, and other safety issues. If you haven't done it yet, or if you are new to UTC (Hi, new folks!), go here to get started. It doesn't announce all closings, though. Go here to read more about UTC's inclement weather policy. And if you aren't back to campus yet, make sure to bring a hat and a coat. You're going to need it.

Cheers,
Dr. Y